The 27-year-old singer told GQ magazine it was “really tough” because he felt like he was “on eggshells.”“The first year of marriage was really tough, because there was a lot, going back to the trauma stuff,” Bieber explained referring back to his years as a child superstar. “There was just lack of trust. There was all these things that you don’t want to admit to the person that you’re with, because it’s scary.”
“You don’t want to scare them off by saying, ‘I’m scared,'” he admitted.
Bieber and Baldwin married at a New York City courthouse in September 2018 and then had a bigger ceremony a year later in South Carolina. He was 24 years old at the time, while the model was 21.
In 2021, the couple is on a healthier path of “creating these moments for us as a couple, as a family, that we’re building these memories.”
“It’s beautiful that we have that to look forward to. Before, I didn’t have that to look forward to in my life,” Bieber explained. “My home life was unstable. Like, my home life was not existing. I didn’t have a significant other. I didn’t have someone to love. I didn’t have someone to pour into. But now I have that.”
Bieber credits his relationship and his faith for helping him shed his out-of-control child star ego.
“To have everyone saying how good you are, how incredible you are? You just start to believe that stuff. And ego sets in. And then that’s where insecurities come in. And then you start treating people a certain way and feeling superior and above people. And then there’s this whole dynamic shift,” he recalled. “I just woke up one day and I’m just like, ‘Who am I?’ I didn’t know. And that was scary to me.”
Bieber went through a period of drinking, drugs and arrests. He said he “lost control of my vision for my career.”
“I thought all the success was going to make everything good. And so for me, the drugs were a numbing agent to just continue to get through,” he continued.
The Grammy-nominee added, “Then you wake up one day and your relationships are f—ed up and you’re unhappy and you have all this success in the world, but you’re just like, ‘Well, what is this worth if I’m still feeling empty inside?'”
Bieber hopes telling his truth can help other people struggling. “You can do it. You are valuable. Whatever you are saying about yourself or believing about yourself is not necessarily true. It’s just not,” he offered.
The musician feels like he’s got a second chance at a happy, fulfilled life.
“I have a wife who I adore, who I feel comforted by. I feel safe. I feel like my relationship with God is wonderful. I have this outpouring of love that I want to be able to share with people,” he said. “It’s just rewarding to be all that you were designed to be. I believe that, at this point in my life, I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing what I believe that God wants me to do. And there’s nothing more fulfilling.”